The Secret Life of a Struggling Photographer

Many of you know me and know that I'm a new to the professional photography world. Photography has always been my passion, but for the past few years I have only being doing film projects for my classes at the College of Charleston (Go Cougars). I have always felt very insecure about my images. Even when they were good and everyone gawked at them I still saw errors. My classmates and peers have always had better camera equipment than me and I constantly told myself that without the nice lenses I couldn't produce great work. I didn't try to set up any photoshoots with anyone until now because I thought I was an amateur and that no one would hire me. God finally had enough of me not seeing his subtle hints about conquering insecurities and how they are outrageous and he shoved a ton of devotionals and verses in my face all at once! I finally stopped stressing over how I'm going to save up for the $800 lens and the $2.000 camera and I focused only on how to get the best images with what I have now!

The stress has been lifted off my shoulders because God is tired of me not spreading His word. I did a body image project on insecurities and the whole time I was doing it I wasn't even thinking about my own insecurities! I was so focused on making my models feel good about themselves that I wasn't even nervous about my old dated camera! God was trying to push me to become more confident and now he is finally shoving me into the real world of photography. In May I will graduate and I will have to find a way to support myself...

People have been jokingly (and not so jokingly) been asking me what my backup plan is, and saying that I can't support a family or myself with this career. When they said that it REALLY shot me down. I was already insecure about someone hiring me as a second shooter and then someone saying THAT... it made me really rethink if this is how God wants me to share His word. They were probably not saying that I'm a bad photographer, but they saw that I was not going out there and fighting for a job in my field. I'm so thankful that he keeps showing me that this is what His plan is for me. Not everything is handed to you. I have to work for the money, to earn the equipment, to get the bigger jobs, to finally get to the BIG mission field that I so badly want to work in.

Yes, right now I'm still an amateur photographer, but you have to start somewhere! Sure, some of the big photography companies don't want to hire someone without equipment, but thats understandable! God wants me to earn my way to the big dogs! I have to gain my confidence before I can earn the equipment and I think that is fair and square. Now it's time for me to really start my journey as a photographer.

I'm not sharing this story to ask for money or to make those people feel bad for questioning my career path. I understand why they don't see this as a real job, it's not traditional or 100% stable but it's what I love to do! I'm sharing this to hopefully help others who are on the fence about God's plan for them. If he hasn't showed it to you yet stay patient! For those of you who have figured out what God wants you to do... ACT ON IT! I've been holding back for a few years and I finally got the courage to JUST DO IT! It's such a relief to actually put His plan in action!

God bless y'all! :)

#struggles